Mundane Mondays, Vol. V: The Holding Fee

Monday, April 15, 2013

I didn't post last Monday because I had nothing prepared, but luckily have something today. After all, I spent the whole weekend slacking off and not posting so the last I could do is draw pictures for today, right?

I'm going to tell you about The Holding Fee.

You know about Morgan. What you don't know is that lately he's taken to taxing my food. Like if we get ice cream and I have to tie my shoe, I'll hand over my cone. When I look back up and reach for my ice cream, it will have been annihilated.

"Just a small holding fee!"

This happens all the time. He's adapted the fee to other situations. I asked him to peel me an orange while cooking dinner last night because my blood sugar was low.

He hands me a small chunk of orange. The rest went to the peeling fee.

We go for sugar free sorbet. I go back in the store for more napkins. Watching fee.

I ask him to pick up a Toblerone for me one night when he goes out to get the Sunday paper. He comes back and immediately devours two chunks. Fetching fee, you see. I guess in this case he didn't eat the majority of it, but the fact that he ate any was surprising. He HATES chocolate. I'm starting to think he's doing it out of spite.

So it's gotten to the point where I don't want to leave my food with him. Like when get a drink at the mall but have to go to the bathroom.

Side note: Bear Juice is not juice made from bears. I'll explain in a later post what it is.

Anyways, so I have to go to the restroom. I thought about bringing my Juice with me, but just the idea of bringing in food or a drink to a restroom grosses me out. Animals don't even like to eliminate where they eat. I'm no different. I do however, want my Bear Juice when I get back. I don't want an almost empty styrofoam cup.

Screw The Holding Fee.


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